I was a late stoner, well into my twenties before I discovered that cannabis was the escapism for me.
Like everything that brings happiness, to much is a bad thing, but I want to write about why it’s the one for me, and why I micro-dose regularly.
And listen not that it needs to be said, but because common sense isn’t so common, I am not a medical doctor — “no, shit” — shock horror I know, but seriously, I’m not a medical doctor or any other kind of doctor. I’m not advocating self medicating, or using cannabis. I just want to write about me, my relationship to it, and how I feel.
Or more specifically, how I want to escape from what I feel.
Really that is the the nail on the head. Escapism. I mean cannabis affects me in many different ways over a period of time, depending on my mood, environment, or anything else that is impacting my senses. But to be able to escape from that, to block out all background noise and focus on doing one thing, enjoying one thing, being in one thought for a period of time, that is the money shot -and that’s why I use it.
If your someone that has stopped by my little corner of the internet more than once, or has been following me on twitter you know I’m in the process of confronting my demons (figure of speech, not real demons, life isn’t that exciting). As you can imagine keeping all of that bottled up has made keeping a healthy mental-self damn near impossible. Cannabis helped me, and continues me to relax. To create enough clear head space to focus on each of my “problems” that require positive change.
It has helped take that anxiety away. And I only use small amounts.
I try to follow a pattern of micro-dosing. I’m not trying to blow my brains out and get lost in imagination land. I need to be in a state where the anxiety isn’t center staged. I still need to function, and do my day to day. I also have limitations, before reaching for a quick puff I ask myself three questions.
- Why do I want it? What is it that I want to focus on?
- What do I have to get done that day? What are my commitments for today?
- What are you doing next? If I miss calculate my dose (for whatever reason) what gets impacted?
Remember. Commitments are non-breakable. Non negotiable – you have to get these fuckers done.
I also have to take into account my own head space at the time. Is it a Sunny Day or a Rainy Day? The answer is genuinely important and plays a critical part of the decision making.
Now, if I can be honest with myself – and I can answer each of those with a clear conscious, it’s go time.
I’m not going to pretend. When I know I have fuck all to do that afternoon and I have something creative that I want to work on as my focus. it’s game on – but not every day is like that.
Cannabis helps me in other ways as well.
- It takes away my climbing aches and pains – and no, never smoke and climb. The two don’t mix
- It makes me feel positive. About myself, my life, being in my skin
- I feel more creative. Most likely because I can focus to actually make progress on creative tasks
- I get horny fuck! Yes, I might have dosed before I started writing this – more on that in another blog post.
So why do you smoke. Drop me line and let me know your thoughts.